Friday, January 13, 2012

Start All over Again!

Start All Over Again
my heart is sending out signals of distress, for it longs to be in love
my soul is singing out a song of liberation, for it longs to be free
longing
wanting
wanting to love and to be loved freely
free from guilt
free from hurt
free from uncertainty
free from lies
unrestricted
the kind of love depicted in fairy tales
I hear that even the most masculine males, long for this
throwing loose change into wishing wells
wishing to find my best friend
don't wanna hold any more secrets
just holding hands
while taking long walks
engaging in long talks
sharing long lasting love making
where entangled together, our bodies move until we stop
and with no more energy to spare, ...we,.... just lie there
holding each other so tight our breaths become one
our hearts so close, together they make a beat for our souls to dance to
I wanna wipe away tears of pain and of joy
because in life there will be both
growing old with someone
taking the good with the bad
laughing about the times we had
looking forward to the ones to come
but right now,... numb is my heart
it feels nothing but sadness
sadness for the love I had that was taken away
sadness for the mistakes
even sadness for not taking advantage of the opportunity I have right now
and this is were freedom comes in
i have to make myself free to mourn
free to have these feelings of regret
i need the freedom to say to myself it's okay for me cry
it's okay to feel like everything is falling apart around me
and when all the destruction is over
it's okay to pick up the pieces and start all over again
it's okay to still show the scars of the past
but wear them not in shame but as amour
for it shows that my heart and my soul are not weak
and that even through the hurt
even through the pain
even through the longing
and the wanting
they are still there,
intact
and willing to pick up the pieces and love all over again.

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